Blue Star

Mr. Ugly
By: 
Scott Sullivan
Honey, I told my wife. Once again I’ve shown People’s deficiencies by not being their Sexiest Man. “What are you talking about?” she asked, choking on her latté. Goals. I’ve decided mine is humility. “You do have a lot to be humble about.” I’m the humblest ever! “Numbers 12:3 says Moses was.” Numbers don’t add up! Bring it on, Moses! In your efface, Gandhi! “Speaking of faces, you should enter Zimbabwe’s Mr. Ugly contest.”

Goal setting is an art. Too low and I’ll never reach my potential. Too high and failure will bring frustration. How do I set mine right?

Thank God for grocery store tabloid racks. Doing research, I learned David Beckham is People magazine’s Sexiest Man Alive. The soccer star was just 10 when the magazine named Mel Gibson its first ever Sexiest Man 30 years ago.

If People had objective criteria, I’d have won every year. But no. Staff starts by asking whose cover picture will sell the most magazines. Who has a film coming out that will buy an ad spread? Who will grant us exclusive interviews?

Go ahead, Mel, George Clooney, Brad Pitt ... sell your souls for sham affirmation like that. Not me!

For full story, pick up a copy of the Dec. 3 Commercial Record or subscribe to the e-edition.

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