Blue Star

Cheesier
By: 
Scott Sullivan
Now Learndipity Data Insights, the same firm that conducted Bud’s Labor Day poll, has done “Finlandia Cheese’s Cheesiest, Meltiest, Gooiest Cheeseburger Survey.” “The results are in,” says Liz Bagot of Finlandia’s Grand Rapids Media Team, “and trust me, they’re ‘grater’ than you ever imagined.”

Unlike Congress, I’m pro progress. I support dropping news from newspapers — low-paid reporters are too expensive — and using more “lifestyle” stories gleaned free online.

Give me content providers, not writers, and audience engagement specialists posting buttons, banners and click-bait polls online drawing likes and hits I can peddle to advertisers. Depth? It long ago ceased to be time or cost efficient.

Two weeks ago I used this space to show Budweiser, which has never spent a Clydesdale dropping on ads in our newspaper, it can’t use its billion-dollar P.R. leverage to induce us to give free ink to its poll on Americans’ favorite Labor Day activities. Sample question: “Do we favor domestic (Budweiser) beer or imported beer?” I’ll bet you can guess that answer.

OK, we did ... and just did again. But not without first demanding Bud send the Clydesdales towing free samples to our office. Nothing so far. But once our legal team weighs in, I’m sure Bud will back down and pony up with the suds.

For full story, pick up a copy of the Sept. 22 Commercial Record or subscribe to the e-edition.

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